Five Great Things About Negative People

Some people don’t like magic, rainbows or other people. There are a few things this selective group enjoys, but not much in the universe makes the grade. The “up” crowd labels them as downers, sad sacks and the chip crumbs at the bottom of the bag of life. They have substance, but not enough to make them appetizing. Lick your fingers and see how many crumbs stick after you read my top five of why these negative humans are so great!

  1. TV screens normally have black borders and the picture looks better because of the contrast. Crappy people provide the contrast to your joyous bubble and everything is in HD because of it.
  2. If you have a variety of friends, thank the person who just stole your parking spot. The masses have followed the “cut out the negative people in your life” advice and gobs of abrupt, think only of myself, bags of flesh have piled up waiting to join your circle. It’s a lose/win for all!
  3. Stem and cell therapy. The stem is attached to a wine glass and sales are WAY up thanks to interactions that have sparked your need to obliterate certain brain cells. I’ll have a bottle of MoreLow.
  4. Tales of “you won’t believe what this person did to me” cause so many moral compasses to be held high that it affects magnetic North. This changes the axis of rotation of our planet and adds an extra two minutes of sunlight to each day.
  5. Without negativity in the world, your Ipad, Android phone and Tesla car are useless. Try to use a battery with only positive terminals on it.

BONUS thought: There is no (+) sign unless this () is in the middle.

Check out my brother and I on Facebook : Double Vision….Twin Magic and Comedy for our latest magical adventures at conferences and community events.

Mitchell Hrycan…writer, builder, wizard

Photo by Matthew Henry on Unsplash




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Mitchell Hrycan (the better looking twin..)

Co-owner and stunt twin. One half of Canada's only identical twin magic act, Double Vision. 30 years of performing experience. Have twin, will travel.